Make a list of favours you requested in the past

Sport, Exercise, Foot Bike. This image is CC0!

Exercise 10: Make a list of things or favours you wanted from others in the past. How did you request them? Were your requests justified, modest, and reciprocal?

You can go a little more into the details if you like. What was the justification? Why are you sure the request where modest? What did you offer in return? Which requests have been denied? Why?

While it is good if all three conditions are met, you can compensate the lack of one condition with the other two, and even that is not always required. If you ask a stranger for directions in a city, he usually will not ask for a return favor. When you ask your boss for a promotion, you should not be too modest. She might mistake it for a lack of ambition. When your want to buy something (yes, this is also a kind of pulling), the seller will not ask for a justification. Furthermore, pulling can be a bit like bartering. What you are willing to give back need not be a big thing for you. It suffices if what you return has more value for the person you ask than what you want to get from the person.

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