Can you improve how you ask for help?

Sport, Exercise, Foot Bike. This image is CC0!

Exercise 11: Review your answers to the last exercise. Are conditions missing? Which condition could you drop by compensating with the other two?

The three conditions for requests have also another function. After identifying why your need is justified and modest, and if you can give something back, it will be much easier to make the pull at all.

And this is still the most important part: If you do not ask or are not clear with your request, you will not get anything from others. Imagine sitting at a dinner table. You want the salt. How should anybody guess that you need it and give it to you? Do you just stare at the salt until somebody asks if you want it? No, of course you ask yourself. Your life is that dinner table. The people around you are fellow dinner guests, and the salt is whatever you need.

One last remark: The pull principle in Lean Self as described here does not tell you how to successfully persuade others to help you. It focuses on your own view you should have on the things you need to pull. If you want to get same interesting insights into the art and science of persuasion I suggest the persuasion chapter of Richard Wiseman’s book “59 Seconds. Think a little, change a lot.”

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